Lean into it.

So, as a Mother does in the winter months in the bay area, I took my kids sledding up in Tahoe. I know you may be wondering, what on earth does this have to do with leaning into it? Well, let me describe to you the scenario. We all have our sleds, poised and ready to go at the top of the hill that is bordered by two big snow banks to keep you from going astray. First my two sons head down the hill, only to topple over as they attempted to avoid crashing themselves into the snow banks. I thought to myself, “Ok, clearly I won’t do that, I AM the Mom.” Low and behold, as I went down the hill I found myself heading for the snow bank, and did the obvious, I leaned away from the bank, clearly thinking that I would avoid the imminent crash. Nope! I went straight for it, and then immediately headed toward the other bank as well! The ride was scary, bumpy, clunky, awkward, and most definitely NOT enjoyable.

When I got off the hill, the hill attendant(carrying a cute little stop/go sign that he could flip) yelled to me “If you lean into the snow bank, you won’t hit it.” Hmm, lean into it? This made no sense. Second run, I honestly couldn’t get my body to lean into going towards the snow bank, it was too scary, so I experienced yet another disappointing (and embarrassing) run. Third time, as I approached the snow bank, I tilted my body TOWARD the snow bank, and AHA the nose of my sled corrected straight and I had a SMOOTH EASY enjoyable ride. Lean into it! Got it:)

My kids on the other hand did not. Crying, stating “ I don’t want to sled anymore”, “ I am only doing this one more time” as I stood at the top of the hill yelling “Lean into where you don’t want to go”. Then there was the moment I realized, this is exactly it! In life we see or more like FEEL something that seems scary and we turn away, avoid, distract, do ANYTHING so we avoid the scary. But what ends up happening? We actually make things harder. I read something the other day that mentioned that feelings really usually only last 90 seconds. It’s our extreme aversion to them, and almost hyper focus on NOT feeling them that makes them last longer. Our avoidance makes things rougher harder and tougher. Much like my avoidance of the snow bank created a crappy ride, not allowing our experience can make for a sense of being stuck, scared, tight, anxious, disconnected from ourselves, and confusion.

So let’s make like a smooth sled ride and lean TOWARD things that we want to avoid, lean INTO life. When we feel frustrated, confused, like we CAN’T, my encouragement is to pause, breathe and allow for the moment to be just as it is. You might just find that once you do this things get just a little bit easier.

I will leave you with this. An image, a memory. I watched as my son was ABOUT to give up in his frustration on the hill. He gave it one more go. I watched as he headed toward the snow bank, watched as he leaned his small little body TOWARD the bank(just a small little lean) and the rest of his ride was straight and SMOOTH. But the best part, his sense of accomplishment, the smile on his face, and his willingness to keep on riding and learning, and riding and learning again.